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This week's show wasn't actually very good. I've become entirely dependent on sean for fetching things and filling talk time. I feel overcome with the same sloth that defeated me when Spellcheck was first invented. and then again when they started canning chick peas in brine and i didn't have to soak them overnight anymore. i don't even know where i would start if i had to soak my chickpeas again. Sean you get back here you little Rat Face.
Now join me as a I list the series of events traversed in my journey to christmas-spirit restoration:
- i lost my wallet on the bus. shit.
- i called the bus depot and they had it, complete with the $1200 paycheck that was in it. yay!
- my boots don't keep water out. i have been elected mayor of WetSocksville, MA. shit.
- my roommate kate made turkey and i ate it. then we drank wine and made apple crumble and watched the muppet christmas carol (FEATURING BEAKER & HONEYDEW). yay!
- the little old man who found my wallet left me a merry xmas note with a phone #. i called and wished him happy holidays. HOW CUTE. yay!
- i listened to a lounge-y remix of hercules and love affair's blind that made me want to vomit a little onto the white vinyl kidney-shaped couch i'd have to be sitting on for that remix to be played in the first place. shit.
- i found the MY!GAY!HUSBAND! remix of THE MUPPET SHOW THEME SONG!! merry christmas hypemachine! yay!
and now here we are and i just want to hug everybody. hope you like the show. one of the first tracks is a santogold track called icarus that i'm really really excited about.
Beaker and Honeydew is now on hiatus until the new year. everybody have a safe and wonderful holiday and we'll see you at 5 pm on THE FIRST TOOZDIE OF 2009!!!
LAWWWWWVE YOU
biscuits
DOWNLOAD:
December 16th show
Santogold - Icarus
Muppet Feme Tune - Remixed by MY!GAY!HUSBAND!
ALSO HERE'S SOME NOT-DOWNLOADABLE TUNES YOU SHOULD CHECK BC THEY ARE KOOL
Passion Pit - Sleepyhead (Wallpaper. Dio Remix)
LCD Soundsystem - Someone Great (Wintergloves Cover )
AND LASTLY...PEEP THIS.
holy shit i slept in. gross.
you know when you KNOW you should go to sleep because you've only got 6 hrs til you have to wake up but just can't make the last 50 yard dash into Actually Sleeping? Blech. I had one of those last night. i always look at the clock and panic like OHHHH CRAP NOW I"M DOWN TO 4 AND A HALF HRS. AND NOW I"M DOWN TO JUST 4. WHAT THE FUXX BODY, JUST GO TO SLEEP and that just gets me stressed and aggro, further propagating the insomnia. in the words of a wise poet, i guess i'm a hazard to myself.
to save my cuddly reader/listenership from having to go through a similar experience, i have composed a list of all of the insomnia home remedies that I tried last night and scored them on a scale of 1 to 5 asterisks. proceed.
- deep breathing. ** comments: doesn't really do much.
- mark undergrad labs. ** comments: more aggro. i'm going to puke if i ever hear "chymotrypsin" again.
- go smoke a cigarette so fast you give yourself a head rush. * comments: this COULD work....but you can easily mistake headrush for tiredness only to find that once your head clears you're still wide awake and now you smell like cigarettes in bed.
- listen to the entire xiu xiu album on loop. softly. *** comments: just make sure you uncheck save me save me. dope track but it'll jar you out of whatever piss puddle of shallow slumber you may have managed to semi-immerse yourself in.
- listen to for emma forever ago on loop. ** comments: great. still pissed off that i can't sleep AND i'm heartbroken/depressed/going to jump out the window while my wrists bleed out.
ily bon <3 - warm milk and honey. **** comments: (1) if the stove element starts smoking when you go to boil the milk, you should probably just use the microwave. it's loud at 4 am but not as loud as the smoke detector. (b) if you're having trouble sleeping because you're bloated/gassy/have indigestion, maybe swap the milk for an equivalent quantity of tums.
- get your bf/gf to rub your back/belly. **** comments: drawback - you need a bf/gf. one that will wake up to rub your back when you can't sleep. BAHAHAH. why not throw in a unicorn and a dragon too for good measure.
(sidebar) awesome unicorn and dragon comixx courtesy of SMBC!
- praying. ************ comments: ily jc <3
And that's how i finally got to sleep. K tune in, sean's back. also, look at my new/old tshirt.
it says PATCHBUSTERS on it. get it?
whatever.
<3 BSQV -dec 2 DOWNLOADS: Dec 2 show
ALSO as promised here's a pic of EYELASH MITES!!!! --->>>
Today's episode is a tribute to THIS MAN-->
my dad. <3
SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT MY DAD:
-he is a dancing machine (refer to fig. 1, 'put your hands up for detroit')
-he is a stylish beast (refer to fig. 1, pinstriped wool trousers, argyle sweater, tweed blazer, classic ray ban transition bifocals awwww yea)
-he's a babe magnet (refer to fig. 1, belly dancer)
luv u pops
----------
other fun things in the last week:
i went to goldstream to see the salmon spawning. it was really gross.
Smurf had her first bath. It looked a bit like this, but she's way fatter. i didn't take pictures bc she's a bit sensitive about her weight right now. fair enough.
i also made a root vegetable and chicken pot pie with parsnips, yams, mushrooms, zucchini, cauliflower and chicken in a basil white wine sauce with basil parmesan crust. omnomnom.
SIDEBAR
i'm not going to send mailouts through fbook anymore. i got called out as a spammer and that's so not what i'm about. ew. so i'll still be writing weekly messages to y'all but i'll just post them here. you're on your own for remembering to tune in.
STILL LUV U MUCHLY,
biscuits
-nov 25
DOWNLOADS:
NOV 25 TRIBUTE TO POPS, PART 1
NOV 25 TRIBUTE TO POPS, PART 2
*<)(:0D
After a frigid but lively frolick in the windy city i am back at my own bed and desk and the 3 lbs i had lost in the last couple of months have been returned to me. PHEW. Thanks mom. but MORE IMPORTANTLY beaker & honeydew is returning to regular programming a la today circa 5. Thanks to Troy Braveheart The Lion Lemberg for filling in while i was away.
My trip was pretty good. We met half of Flosstradamus, or as i like to call him now that we're FACEBOOK FRIENDS (!!!), Joshtradamus. I got really excited and asked him if he'd gotten all my myspace messages, which is what Nylon magazine says is the hip, cool-as-a-cucumber thing to do when you meet celebrities.
I didn't end up renting Kung Fu Panda with Barry Obama and Oprah afterall. Know why? Because SOMEBODY (and i'm not pointing any fingers at the prezzie-elect bc that's not how i roll) forgot to reserve our copy of it.
oh and THEN, since they want a new dog i totally offered to GIVE HIM my pitbull as a congratulatory gift provided she then get her own sitcom about a dog who moves in to the Whitehouse with the president and his family and gets into all sorts of wacky trouble. I thought it was a really sweet gesture but apparently Michelle and the stupid kids want a NEW puppy or whatever. FINE. Turn your back on the most loving and protective canine you will EVER have the pleasure of encountering. Ever.
Look at that face! oh yea AND THEN he had the balls to be all "uh that's not even a pitbull. that's your fat rabbit." I'm so sending them a re-gifted fruitcake for xmas.
love
beeskwee
ps - i messed up last week's recording again. DEAL WITH IT.
pps - i'm sorry i didn't mean to yell.
-nov 18
DOWNLOAD:
NOV 18 SHOW
good afternoon bears and girls,
today beaker and honeydew is pleased to have a very special guest co-host joining us in the on-air boots. Mr. Sean "DJ Fatso" Evans of Cheers in the Belfry, I'm Fat You're Fat, PG Music, Lucky Bar, and the Scrawny Hobo Association of Greater Victoria will be joining us to talk about life, love and how to campaign for municipal elections with a budget of twenty seven dollars worth of nickels, a ball of lint and a couple of jelly beans. DON'T MISS IT!
Also a big heeeeeeeey ohhhhhh to all my bros out there bro-in' it up with their moustaches for Movember. We've been doing it all wrong, growing out your facial hair is a much easier/safer/more rugged way of showing support than pink ribbons. Also my poppy stabbed me yesterday. I will remember.
DL link for last week's show is up under posted items and on the blog (which is a much cooler, more hyperlinked interface anyway). I also found a recording of a show from August that I never uploaded for DLing so go listen to that too. By clicking AUGUST 4 SHOW HERE. It made me realize that over time I've actually started saying UHHHHHHHH on the air more frequently and for longer durations. hooray for my atrophying oral skills. *wink wink*
less than three
les biscuits
-nov 4
VERY IMPORTANT: BEFORE YOU READ THE REST OF THIS MESSAGE CLICK ON THIS LINK AND LEAVE IT PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND
WELL GHOULS AND BOYS it's time for another installment of BEAKER&HONEYBOOoooOOOoooooooo.Meep Meep.
It's been a big week. I survived the zombie walk despite many attacks on my brain (joke's on them right) and i'm pretty sure our mainland friends over in Van broke the Guinness World Record for the largest gathering of zombies dancing to Thriller. His Highness King M.J. Bananaphone Esq. would have been proud if he had any concept of reality.
This week I also raided a friend's lappy and dug up some gold banger nuggets that will make the maggots crawl out of your cadavre eye sockets and slimy-wiggle their way onto the dance flo'. So tell Igor to tune yo ass into the FUV 101.9 and bob along while you stir up some trouble in yo gangsta ass cauldron.
MAY YOUR H'WIZZLE BE FULL OF FAR TOO MANY SPIRITS - GOOD, EVIL AND INEBRIATING.
-october 28DOWNLOADS
dl this week's show here: OCTOBER 28 SHOW!!!!
Also if ja wanna last week's show, dl it here: OCTOBER 21 SHOW
i know right?
i effed up last week's recording SOWWY. this week i will try and be smart and tech savvy like my big brudder. he says i will grow out of this but i don't know. ps anybody got a chocala bar?
so do you guys know what you're being for halloween yet? if you're stuck here's a couple of ideas:
sexy chick costume: crazy zombie cokehead slut kitty cheerleader. a classic.
(courtesy of icanhascheezburger.com)
sexy dude costume: this walking orgasm (can u say herringBONESESH)
(courtesy of the sartorialist)
hide-my-bad-hair-day costume: this box of alfalfa sprouts
(courtesy of schmoogle images)
tongue-in-cheek costume that makes fun of at least 2 nationalities as well as one of north america's best loved commercials/kids/juices: the kid from the Wong's White Rice Milk ad.
(courtesy of Youtube)
also, your parents are bastards. better ask omar to go get you new ones.
just don't show up as a pregnant MIA or i might have to go all bucky done gun on your biter ass.
<3
biscuits&honeydew
-october 21
DOWNLOADS:
THIS WEEK's SHOW: OCTOBER 21 SHOW
Babiez there ain't no mountain high enough ain't no valley low enough ain't no turkey big enough to keep me from waddling my freshly augmented post-thxgiving congealed-drippingsbutt to the station to pump out some b33tz for yous.
as of this week b&h is a WHOLE HOUR AND A HALF so flick us on right at the 5:00 pm mark, my itis-ed out little cuddlemonkeys, and we will bob our heads and undo our jeans buttons and be merry. break it down.
LAWWWWWVE,
b&h
-october 14
DOWNLOADS
Last week's show:
october 7 show part 1
october 7 show part 2
somewhere in there is a track off of the debut single from Pants and Tie, which allegedly features ex-members of Hot Chip. worth digging up.
show time in 2 hrs
DON'T WORRY this spam is a bonafide "apple" product. srsly.
and as proof that it is fully backed by "apple", all recipients of this message get a free download from the "iTunes" "store". Choose from any of ONE track! (which is a recording of last week's show, including interview with noah from Young Rival). To redeem YOUR voucher, click here!
also be sure to check out "apple"'s latest accessory, a super-chic protective case for the yet-to-be-released iPod femto. made from organic, grain-fed developing chickadee chorion, it'll protect your music from rain, snow and collisions with heavy atoms on a frictionless surface.
click here to order directly from your iphone:
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1306
-october 7
DOWNLOADS:
SEPT 30
i know i said no more spam but this is a special circumstance: i'm doing my first ever LIVE interview today with noah fralick, the drummer for hamilton-grown wildcat-rock-n-roll/zouk/crunk band young rival. these guys are to spritely young hipsters what bush x and then bush were to me circa grade 6. slash still. they're also playing logan's in a couple of weeks. they also volunteer at a manatee clinic up north in between touring and donating kidneys. and conducting non-invasive stem cell research. in soup kitchens. their track 'your island' is the new skinny love far as i'm concerned. point being:
tune in, it'll either be awesome or hilariously awkward. or if you're lucky, a bit of both.
WUV
beakz&dewz
http://www.myspace.com/youngrivalmusic to chekk da beatz
cfuv.uvic.ca to stream live
-september 30
